5 years ago, on a Thursday, January 26th 2006, wow, i don't feel younger, neither do you, i was arriving on Granville Street late afternoon, and guess what, it was raining !
It had been raining non stop for 3 weeks or so, and Vancouver was about to break some kind of record, like the longest time with non stop, straight, rain.
A week later, it stopped raning, eventually, for few hours, and we didn't win the contest. Just 28 days of rain, or something like that. Sweet.
Back then anyway, i didn't care much, i was too happy to be here. I had dreamt about it so much... I was finally feeling free, and ready, ready to start over. And i was free to start over the way i wanted to.
New appartment... What about living in the West End, just by the beach.
New friends and boyfriends. New cultures (even though the first 6 months were mostly Aussie).
New jobs, new life, new habits.. everything had to be done.
5 years later, when i feel tired, or not, it's easier for me to speak the other language instead of my mother tongue. Having 2 languages, it's like having 2 souls as well. Well, this is exactly that.
Few came and visited me. Sooo few...
I will be back before some come to see me... Too bad.
I have learned a lot about myself these last 5 years, more than during the 10 previous years. Learnt about the others, but mostly about myself. I got stronger, but still, still.... how emotionally hard these years have been. Emotionaly 'heavy', to deal with... Not only break ups, but also, saying (too many times) good byes. In airports, outside a bar in Lyon or Paris, by the Opera, say good byes to friends leaving Vancouver and you. To see your best friends only half an hour, stressful trips, missing weddings, pregancies, births, friends moving in and out, break ups, funerals... Not being able to just be there, just to show you are here.
And keep wondering: Does it worth it?
And then, you keep going.... What else i want to do, to achieve, before going back to my homeland? Which trips, exhibits, boxing tournaments, new people to meet...
5 years !!
2 weeks ago, i realized that i had not French kissed a French guy in 5 years (til few weeks ago) !!
Fortunately, now, it's done.